News & Views

[Sarah]

http://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/celebrity-candy/bath-time-with-gwyneth-paltrow

A recent article with Gwyneth Paltrow discusses how she and her two kids (5 & 7 ) bathe together every night. What are your thoughts about this, do you bathe with your kids? What is the age cut-off for something like this, in your opinion?

[Sirius Blacks Mother]

Let's turn that question around:  What if she was a dad bathing with his seven and five year daughters?  Would that be okay, in order to help them feel comfortable about their bodies, the reason she claims she is doing it for?

[littleblackdress]

well, I bathe with my 6 year old sons.  My husband showers with them, too, sometimes.  Usually it starts with one of us in the bath, and they want to come in.

On the other hand - MAKING your kids bathe with you when they are no longer wanting to (and past the toddler years, so no fear of drowning) is a problem.

LBD.

[Sirius Blacks Mother]

You must have a huge tub.  I prefer to have the bath to myself, with a good book and a glass of wine.  Ditto for my kids (alone, but not with a glass of wine, lol...), although they did bath together until they were around six or so, but never with me.  No room whatsoever for that.

In any case, I'm pretty sure the Family Divorce Courts would cast a questioning eye on the scenario I mentioned above.

[Gen2]

what's wrong with a father bathing or showering with his kids? Boys or girls, they are still HIS kids. If the court "cast a questioning eye" on that, no wonder so many fathers get burned in divorce court by moms who want it all and just wants to hurt the man, no mather how good of a father he is (coming from a personal situation, our good friend is getting ripped off in court because his ex-wife keeps lying in court and the court keeps believing her without investigating furthermore...yet, SHE's the one who cheated on him and is a horrible absent mother).

[Gen2]

and she's almost 6. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. They have fun and that's all I care. I sometimes shower with her but it's usually dh as I take care of ds. Dh doesn't bathe with the kids because he's too big of a guy but I sometimes bathe with them. dd usually takes shower but she sometimes wants a bath when she sees me in the bath with ds.

I once again agree with LBD, it's wrong to FORCE them to bathe with you if they don't want to but if they have fun and the job gets done, who cares how old they are?

We'll start teaching her to shower by herself but we have no problem being in the shower with her until she says that she no longers wants us too.

[littleblackdress]

No, I am just short (and they are little).  And, honestly, considering that opposite sex children are allowed in public changerooms up to age 7 in some pools and up to age 10 in others, I doubt it would be looked at poorly at all.

LBD.

[KNB.]

ITA with LBD.  What's the big deal?  If everyone is in agreement there is no problem.

I bathe with my 4 and 6.5yo sons, usually because they beg me to come in the tub with them.  We do have a big tub, 6ft long and extra wide, so we all fit.  I imagine they ask me to come in because we can play more easily, honestly some of the best play time we have is in the tub.  The boys will jump in the tub when DH gets in on Sunday mornings, there's not much room left but they have a blast with him too.

I really think the pendulum has swung too far on this one and I for one am happy it's being openly discussed.

[max3]

I guess I consider bathing a time to get clean.  Not really a social time or a time to reconnect with my kids.  When my kids were very small, we would sometimes bathe with them but generally, both my dh and I would shower in the morning before he kids were up and then if so in the evening it would be after a work out etc. I'm not interested in being wet that many times a day. 

I think there are more  fulfiling ways to reconnect with children than sitting naked in bath water.  I'd prefer to use bathing as a function once the kids are that old and do more interesting things together before bedtime. 

Do I think it's odd or problematic?  Odd yes, problematic no.  I think it sounds odd to end the day by sitting in a bath tub, naked with your family and can't see the value in it.  I doubt it would cause problems, if there is  an opt out option.  That said, if kids are conditioned to do this since birth, they may not feel comfortable opting out. They may also stay doing it for longer than they really want due to overwhelming curiousity. I'm not sure how great of an idea that is.  I also don't see how bathing with a parent helps promote a healthy body image.  I'm not hiding my body from my kids...quite frankly, they have no desire now (and haven't for a looonnggg time) to see either of their parents naked!

[duncansmom]

well, without reading anyone else's responses first, I don't bathe with either of my boys (5yrs and 20 mths) but when we go swimming as a family at the rec center we still all use the family change room so they do see me naked.

That said, my 5 year old has asked once what my breast were for and why I didn't have a p.e.n.is like him, his brother and daddy. While I answered him in terms he understands that got me to thinking that probably within the next year he and dh will have to start changing in the mens room only. I think that by 6 years old they start realizing (and should definitely be learning) that boys and girls are different and the need for privacy should be respected.

Even now I can see people looking at me oddly when I bring him into the womens room when he needs to go to the washroom and we are by ourselves. I just cant see myself letting him go into the mens room alone yet..but I know the time is coming soon!