Breastfeeding

[calebsmama]

My little guy turned 2 this past March.  Mostly, I love nursing him.  I love the quiet time it gives us every morning and how it helps us reconnect when I pick him up after work.  But lately, I find mysef not wanting him to touch me.  I know it sounds awful  S can be very clingy and demanding when it comes to nursing.  We are working on him asking and he does-but often he asks and reaches down my shirt at the same time.  I find myself craving time where nobody will be able to touch me and I've caught myself cringing when he asks to nurse or even when dh reaches for me.  

I wanted to nurse until S weaned himself.  He's my last baby and the thought of this relationship ending is bittersweet but lately, I don't know how much longer I can continue...

[Sarah]

I have been through that, and usually that is when we start moving away from nursing into weaning. With my second last baby I was having issues with blocked ducts, and found that I was ready to be done. Maybe you can compromise by moving him away from nursing so much, limiting it to key times of the day. You need to be happy in your nursing relationship too

[calebsmama]

Thank you for your thoughts!  Maybe I do need to try to limit the nursing sessions.  I think 3 times a day (morning, after work, bedtime) is reasonable for a 2-year-old

I also think, if I can get him to keep his hands to himself while he is nursing, that will help too.

[Carleon]

I agree with Sarah that you need to be happy in the nursing relationship too!  Knowing when to expect nursing might help your little guy to settle down and not be so desperate to have it whenever he gets a whim.  I remember telling my dd's that it was not "na na" time yet but they could have a drink/snack or something else while they waited until nap/bedtime or whatever was the next set time to nurse.

Being touched out is no fun but hopefully you can lovingly set some limits to help relax both of you

Take care, Carleon.

(edited for spelling)

[Lara S]

I get that, too. Not resenting nursing, but getting tired of being touched. We co-slept quite a bit, but my son wants to sleep wrapped around my head -- has since he was tiny -- so now, when I go to bed, I put him in his crib, next to our bed. On occasion, I have felt it while nursing. Usually, I simply take the hand that's touching me and move it. Sometimes it makes him cry, and I hate that, but I don't like feeling resentful of our snuggles, either.

In the mornings, all he wants is to climb into our bed and play with my hair while we lie in bed. I can only take it for so long. This morning, it was fine, but after half an hour, I'd had enough! (We did both fall asleep again briefly in that time.)

We now generally only nurse at "sleep time" -- before his nap or before bed -- and I no longer offer, he has to ask. We're moving toward weaning -- he doesn't ask very often anymore.

[calebsmama]

Thank you!  I think setting limits might be the key.  We are going to try that and see how I feel.  Neither of us are ready for him to wean yet but I know we also can't continue the way we are.  Thanks for your thoughts!

[calebsmama]

I think it is the touching thing more so than the nursing...sometimes, it gets to be too much.  I wish that we could just nurse when he asked, but he still asks constantly.  I think we are going to try setting limits and nursing in the morning, before nap and bedtime.  I'll try to keep us busy so he hopefully doesn't ask quite so often and offer a snack or water if I think he might be hungry.

Thank you for your thoughts!  Now that I have a plan, I am feeling much more comfortable and relaxed about everything.

[calebsmama]

Shortly after I posted this, we went on holidays.  I didn't want to limit nursing sessions while we were away and our routine was completely off so I just nursed on demand.  Today is our first day with setting some limits!  We will see how it goes.  He has already asked numerous times since this morning but so far, I have been able to redirect with snacks, drinks, trains and tractors  

[Gen2]

If we had the smiley face from the old TP, I would give you a thumbs up

[calebsmama]

Thanks Gen!

It went really well today!  Much better than expected.  We tried to keep busy and while he asked frequently, I was always able to distract him with something else-he didn't have a single meltdown  We nursed 3 times-wake up, before nap and before bed.  I was happy with each nursing session and S nursed much better as well-no kicking or pulling hair.  Yay!  Hopefully, it continues to go as well as it did today.  I think the key is to keep him busy!